Take these Chances

Take these Chances

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WHoa HOt damn [18 Apr 2004|08:21pm]

[ mood | content ]

[ music | lauryn hill -- se lah ]

HAHA where have i been.... i must have just drove away from my computer after i got my lisense huh? haha no silly i didn't forget about you ;)

Stuff missed:

new job

car

add one to the list (inquire if interested in meaning)

SPRING BREAK (haha my peanuts)

Broken Heart

Poking Smot and Brinking Deers

visiting good ol' florence NJ (<3 jess thanks for the good time)

AS of right now i am very very happy with where i am... i just got a new job at the corner post diner--it's really cute and fun and i make money as opposed to scrounging in the bottom of my purse for cash or pennies. I am a little upset about leaving the boys i babysit tho... they are good kids and i'm thinking about telling them i can do it every once in a while if they get stuck. ehh chilama

The car is broken... needs new break pads haha. I found this out the hard way. The usual sqeaking of the cavy had turned into a low grinding. Being that my car is 14 years old i have come to the point where i am used to strange noises, however this noise was rather alarming. I told pops about it and he is fixin em tomorrow haha. fun fun

Spring break was a fun fun fun fun fun f un time. i drank and excessive amount and probably could have smoked up bob marley with how much shit i smoked haha. its a good time. reunited with my good ol friend stefffy girl haha crazy wild nights

Broken heart... ahhh, yes, well... not right now

FLO TOWN holla. Haha. i went to visit and old friend about an hour southwest of bricktucky i mean brick town =P. i had a good time and saw a lot of people i haven't seen in years. They know how to party out in the corn feilds haha. Bon fires beer pong. they gots everything LOVE YOU JESS> =0]

missed you all and keep an eye out ;]

(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(x) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN TO JAPAN
(_) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
(x) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
(x) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(_) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(x) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(x) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN ARRESTED
(_) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(_) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(x) I NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE
(x) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(x) I NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
(x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN TO EUROPE
(x) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(x) I NEVER HAVE THROWN UP IN A BAR
(x) I NEVER HAVE BEEN TO JAMAICA
(_) I NEVER PLAYED AN ORGANIZED SPORT
(x) I NEVER CAUGHT MY PARENTS HAVING SEX
(x) I HAVE NEVER HAD PHONE SEX
(x) I HAVE NEVER LIKED MICHAEL BOLTON'S MUSIC
(x) I HAVE NEVER TRIED TO KILL ANYONE
(x) I HAVE NEVER BEEN PAYED FOR SEXUAL ACTS
(x) I NEVER HAVE TAKEN ACID
(_) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(x) I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX MORE THAN 4 TIMES IN A WEEK
(x) I HAVE NEVER KILLED AN ANIMAL
(x) I NEVER HAVE HAD GOOD ORAL SEX
(_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(_) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND (SERIOUS)
(_) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND (JOKING)
(_) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX
(_) I NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED
haha fun fun fun

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Good day... [10 Feb 2004|06:22pm]

well, since i've written last my demeanor has improved. sometimes i breakdown like that but ive realized taht theres something i can do to change the way i feel and i won't feel like that everyday so its not worth crying or getting stressed out.

well tomorrow i s the big day. i go for my test at 9:30 in the morning. I can not wait at all. ive been acing parrallel parking so i don't have anything to worry about. eeek wish me luck!

This weekend was kinda crazy haha. friday jess, elyse, roxy and me did a lil shindig for jill. it went well elyse made jill this crazy strawberry shortcake and it was awsome haha. well saturday was a lil more eventful. we went to the starland ballroom to see roxy's boyfriends band play. that kinda sucked so we left. Well on the way there we drank an entire handle of vodka. that was lieka t 1030 in the morning so i was basically drunk from then on. After that me jess n elyse went to jess's dads house. Jack picked us up for a lil while and we smoked. leib stopped by and left. and then me jess elyse and lisa went to a HUGE MANSION in mantaloking for a party. i played 22 games of flipcup 4 games of beer pong and smoked 2 times after. i was a lil drunk this weekend ahha! it was a good time

1 rose crumble to dust and fade away

[05 Feb 2004|03:13pm]

[ mood | envious ]

[ music | yeah yeah yeah's-maps ]

This picture says alot about what i am feeling right now. All the people sitting on the couch are friends of mine... people i care about a lot and would listen to forever. the problem is that i can't help feeling that they wouldn't do the same for me. I always feel like im screaming for help but i will never find it. see how i am talking and no one is listening? maybe this isn't true but it's definetly the way i am feeling. i feel like i surround myself with people who really don't care about me. maybe 2 or 3. im tired of jumping from group to group trying to be accepted. I am always the one walking the line of acceptance never on the right side. im sick of the confusion, the effort. im hoping when i drive i will find who i really care about. i can't wait to get in my car and just let my mind take me to where i want to go. I can't wait to sit and have coffee and talk with that person. i need to be able to open up. not the false kind of opening but the kind where you really reveal what is bothering you, without wasting a breath, just let it all out. I need that. i need that like no other. im tired of trying. i need an effortless friendship where its always there no matter what. always understood, never ridiculed, just a sense of "ive been there" or "i understand" does that make sense ? am i alone? please help me. i am going to be 17 years old next wednesday and i feel like i haven't had a productive life, im so blind to whats going on. please help me

i am deteriorating. Today i broke down after english simply because i got a 70 in that class. i don't know whats wrong with me. I used to be a high 90 student. HOW THE HELL DOES THIS HAPPEN. i used to just do the homework and the bad grades i got would bother my mom and my dad. but know its affecting me. im embarrassed. Lately i feel like an idiot. like im not seeing the bigger picture. i can't motivate myself for the life of me. it makes me feel like i am just a body and theres no drive no emotion inside me, but pity, despair, and sheer embarrassment of myslef. why is it so easy for everyone else. i have no attentiveness. im constantly drifting away and its tearing me apart... if anyone is reading this and doesn't expect this from me because of the fosad i put on well... its ok. This is me. not the bubbly girl in that sits in the back with a false smile and a boisterous laugh. This is me. the insecure waif who feels there is no purpose.

im so lost.

3 roses crumble to dust and fade away

Fight Club [04 Feb 2004|05:33pm]

yes i was a fight club virgin. but lauren has taken my virginity. haha well, i saw the glorious film today after school. i was enlightened. a lil freaked out but enlighted. i was also reminded of how much i want to bone brad pitt ;]

1 week till i can escape.

1. NO MORE BOREDEM
2. GOING TO THE GYM
3. WEIRD NEW JERSEY
4. LATE NIGHTS
5. ENJOYING MY MOM'S PRESENCE BECAUSE I NEVER SEE HER
6. SHOWS
7. NEW FRIENDS
8. BEING ABLE TO WORK WHERE I WANT TO
9. A LIL THING I'D LIKE TO CALL 'HOTBOX'
10. SEEING THE TRI-STATE AREA
11. AN UNKNOWN VEHICLE FOR BB!
12. CAR CHASES
13. NEW STALKING
14. BACK SEAT BOOT KNOCKING
15. "We drive dave steps on the gas the world that's flying by is slick and smooth"
16. and the list goes on and on

yeah so one long and tedious week till i get that little laminated card that indicates my liberation... can you wait? cuz i know i can't . I know it may be a great cliche and somehting that people do everyday but have you ever wondered how driving changes your life? can you imagine living within five miles of your home for the rest of your life? i can't haha and next week i won't

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im bored haha [01 Feb 2004|06:37pm]

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Alone
Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)

What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] ">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/G/ghettokitty/1047301638_mysterious.jpg" border="0" alt="mysterious"> You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never knows what you're going to come up with next; this creates great excitement and arousal never knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end in a kiss as great as your mystery.
 <a href="http://quizilla.com/users/ghettokitty/quizzes/What%20kind%20of%20kiss%20are%20you%3F/"> What kind of kiss are you?</a> brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a>

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/V/Vincentsdream/1074560009_turesalone.jpg" border="0" alt="Alone"> Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but its there, and your friends can see it. You constantly feel alone, and need to do things to fill your time. Your afraid to tell people this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad way, and you think you screwed up everything. And when you are in love is when you are sad the most. (Please Vote)
 <a href="http://quizilla.com/users/Vincentsdream/quizzes/What%20Emotion%20Dominates%20you%3F%20/"> What Emotion Dominates you? </a> brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a>

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/coolcatcatherine/1059512927_deringeyes.jpg" border="0" alt="Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and as many say "Your head is in the clouds." "> Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and as many say "Your head is in the clouds."
 <a href="http://quizilla.com/users/coolcatcatherine/quizzes/What%20type%20of%20eyes%20do%20you%20have%3F/"> What type of eyes do you have?</a> brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a>

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/O/oryan16babygirl/1052060600_tePicsrazb.gif" border="0" alt="razb is..."> Raz B is your babydaddy!
 <a href="http://quizilla.com/users/oryan16babygirl/quizzes/Which%20B2K%20member%20is%20your%20babydaddy%3F/"> Which B2K member is your babydaddy?</a> brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a>

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hot damn [01 Feb 2004|06:33pm]

You are going to marry Brad Pitt. He is always
friendly to anybody he ever meets and he is
very talented as an actor. He is also very
sincere and friendly. He will respect you until
the day he dies. Congrats!!

Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (now 12 (i just added more, and still more to come!)results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

i can deal with that ;] haha

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snatched this shit like a mo fo [01 Feb 2004|12:22pm]

[ mood | mellow ]

[ music | the beatles- L ucy in the S ky with D iamonds ]

_______Your Life_______
[x] they call me:Abby
[x] sex: female
[x] my first breath of air: February 11, 1987
[x] status: on the market
[x] occupation: looking for a job
[x] best friends: gots quite a few

_______Rewind_______
[x] most memorable memory: February 11th freshman year... SAVES THE DAY and weezer on my birthday! hung out on the tour bus had em sing happy birthday to me :] what a lucky girl
[x] worst?: a little thing i'd like to call "the pictures"
[x] first word uttered:Get down
[x] first best friend ever!?: Bryana Campbell --i'm coming to see ya soon!

_______Love?_______
[x] love is: when your eyes are glued to the person and even the stupidest thing they say seems to be the most interesting ever
[x] first love: none yet
[x] love or lust?: love
[x] best love song: At last by etta james
[x] when love hurts, you: Go sleep at jess's dad's house and make all kinds of food and laugh until it hurts
[x] true or false: all you need is love: true
[x] is there such thing as love @ first sight?: i believe so, its that instant attraction
_______Opposite Sex_______
[x] turn ons: A nice mouth always does me in, full lips and nice teeth.
[x] do your parent's opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: nope not really
[x] what kinda hair style?: done but not done
[x] the sweetest thing a member of the opposite sex can do for you?: stay loyal
[x] where do you go to meet new people?:Through friends..
[x] are you the type of person to HOLLER and ask for numbers?: depends on his lips haha

_______Picky Picky_______
[x] dog or cat: dog
[x] short or long hair: medium
[x] sunshine or rain: sunshine
[x] moon or sun: sun
[x] hugs or kisses: kisses
[x] 1 best friend or 10 acquaintances: 1 best friend
[x] summer or winter: summer
[x] written letters or e-mails: written
[x] playstation or nintendo: nintendo
[x] car or motorcycle: car
[x] house party or club: house party
[x] sing or dance: sing :] me n jackie r doing open mike nite haha
[x] freak or slow dance: get down and dirty

_______Lately_______
[x] how are you today? a little burnt
[x] what pants are you wearing right now? grey drawstring sweats
[x] What shirt are you wearing right now? white volcom sweatshirt
[x] what does your hair look like at the moment?wet and back--- just got back from a swim meet
[x] what song are u listening to right now? beatles-- blue album
[x] how is the weather right now? cold but sunny
[x] last person you talked to on the phone? sam greenstein
[x] last dream you can remember? my uncle ken, who is in the hospital, died
[x] who are you talking to right now? mikey haines and coach c
[x] what time is it?12:49

_______More About YOU!_______
[x] what are the last four digits of your phone number? 5235
[x] if u were a crayon, what color would you be? cerulean-- it was my favorite when i was 6
[x] have you ever almost died? yeah i used to jump around on my moms bed and once i jumped of the trunk at the end of it and tried to do a front flip and almost broke my neck and ive avoided getting hit by a car many a times
[x] do u like the person that sent u this?i stole it from rand and i love her ass
[x] what's the next CD you are going to buy? umm i don't have money so im not really thinking about that haha-- anyone wanna give me cds thats cool
[x] what's the best advice ever given to you? "don't let the people you don't love get to you, they aren't important" i try to live by that every day... a hard task
[x] have u ever won any special award? Today i got a ribbon at the meet! haha 5th overall in 100 fly and my relay came in 4th whoo hoo go brick. i won best all around girl in 7th grade
[x] what's the stupidest thing u have ever done? took those pictures freshman year
[x] how many kids do you want to have? 4-^
[x] shampoo? some mint shit
[x] what are you most scared of? being unsuccessful and in debt from college
[x] how many TV's do you have in your house? 5
[x] do you have your own TV? yes
[x] have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone? nah
[x] who do you dream about? people who i thought about deeply that day
[x] who do you tell your dreams to? depends on what they are about
[x] who's the loudest friend you have? I am not sure i am pretty loud-- al is loud when she says 'fuck' at shows haha
[x] who's the quietest friend? alison
[x] Is cheerleading a sport? i really don't care haha
[x] how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? i dunno ask lil kim

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Lonley nights... [31 Jan 2004|05:54pm]

sometimes its extremely beneficial to just sit home on a friday night and watch tv or read a little bit.Last night i was planning on goin to jess's to help her pack cuz shes moving on sunday but momma dukes was not ok with driving me all the way to point pleasant. I didn't feel like fighting with her either. it seems that if i ask my mom for a ride somewhere or to do anything for me its like opening a pandoras box. you never know what a request will trigger with that woman. Last night it was that of "you can't even keep your room clean why would i take you anywhere". sometimes i cant wait to be a parent. I can't wait to let them leave their room as messy as they want. let them stay out as late as they want as long as i am aware of where they are and when they are coming home. I feel freedom is they best way to keep your kids close to you. If my mom let me have a little bit of freedom then i would have respect for her more. if she was to trust me i would thank her for it and repay her. Shes the kind of mother that just wants to yell for the sake of feeling her veins pop. I don't like that. I hate getting scolded for somethign i didn't even do yet. she PRE-PUNISHES-- thats what i liek to call it. its like getting a beating before you do anything wrong.

Momma, Save your breath.

well anyway, i am going out with al and danielle to see mikes band play and im a lil siked... hehe talk to you lata

ps. i hope henry calls :]

1 rose crumble to dust and fade away

With a kiss and a wink [30 Jan 2004|05:37pm]

[ mood | mischievous ]

[ music | In a parking lot by myself its quater to nine... ]

Whoo Hoo i finally am out of chemistry! haha i dropped that shit liek a hot ptoato...ceramics on wednesday.

Yesterday, hmm lets see. Yesterday was quite the eventful day. Well After school me and mandie went and got bagels and talked over breakfast like old ladies drinking tea. haha i love you mandie you make me happy ;) after that i went home and started to take a nap but ROXY woke me up! she made a suprise visit to my house. it was so pleasant. i love when people suprise me! i hadn't hung out with her in like 4 days either so it was even better that i got to see her and talk about stuff. Well we went to target and i got lip gloss a necklace and bracelet all for $FREE.99. it was wonderful. WE made our way over to old navy where i got a jean jacket and rox got a cool bag for $FREE.99 as well. then we went to barns and noble and i got the C.S. Lewis series. I can't wait to read them. HAha i never read the lion the witch and the wardrobe when i was little and that is the second one so i have to read fast haha. Well they were also $FREE.99 i love roxy girl she is my favorite person to drive around with. we just drive aimlously and talk about the weirdest things haha. PRetty soon i'll be driving you around boo.

Well i had to be home at 3:30 so i could go to my swim meet against memorial. WE WON haha by twenty points. When i was warming up though i ripped my sternum muscles (the muscles above your boobs that cover your ribcage) it hurt so much when i did fly i felt like ruben studdard was sitting on my chest. but i got swimming tonight so i gots to suck it up MONDAYS THE LAST DAY! whoo hoo!

After my meet i called alison and she told me that her and danielle were going to cool beans and to call her when i got home and was ready and she'd come get me. Well i did just that but we didn't end up at cool beans but and Fondette's boy's house for a little thing i'd like to call PARTAY! haha it was nice. I met a really cute boy named Henry, yes that's right his name was Henry, and no he wasn't 68. haha well Kory, Danielle, Alison, Mandie, Jackie, Fondette, Fondi, Dan, Taryn. Lindsay, Erica, Henry ;], Randi and I drank some 40's and smoked some black and milds. ha ha we can't forget 50cent. I had a dance off with Fondette. Yes i tore that shit up. haha then around 9:15 in the morning i woke up in a room that somewhat resembled a convent. it was frightening but i left the room quickly remembering where i was haha. I love hanging out with that crew they are the most fun any 1 person can have. haha dance parties and just laughing at eachother. i <3 you guys haha call me tonight! ;]

1 night down 3 to go. The weekend is still young ;]

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im so sad and lonely [28 Jan 2004|09:50pm]

i am convinced that i am going to be alone forever. I can't keep a boy for more than two weeks if that. i thnk im scared. i really don't know what it is. What i do know is that i am tired of being alone. i need someone and i need someone soon. i dunno tho. everytime i say that i get myslef into something im not ready for or too scared or lazy to commit to. This i don't understand... i ve never had a serious relationship... only one boy made me feel willing to put myself out there. the result of that was a battered and bruised ego. i think this is why i am destined to be an old maid.

why is it that i can get drunk and have the balls to kiss anyboy i want. when i am alone with someone i care about i am scared to even put my hand on theirs? WHAT the HELL is wrong with me.

i can't wait till therapy on wednesday... Holly will help me

ANYWAY...

I get my license in two weeks! i can not wait. I can't wait to be able to just leave my house the minute i want to. I can't wait to be able to drive to my friends houses on the other side of town without having to pay some creepy google eyed cab driver 8 dollars. i can't wait to be able to get a job farther than my parents are willing to drive me. I can't wait to get a gym membership. I can't wait to drive to weight watchers. I can't wait to sleep in my car. I can't wait to drive to the city. i can't wait to be able to go visit the popso's in Flo town haha. i can't wait to see bryana and colleen the old next door neighbors. I can't wait to meet people from the crazy trips i take. i can't wait to be able to drive alone blasting THROUGH BEING COOL on my stereo with my windows rolled down--soo loud people stare. I can't wait to have people sit MY passenger seat. AHHH i can't wait for DRIVING.

my parents are trying to frighten me. they tell me that i might not be able to drive the first days i get my license because i took my car around the block one day with out asking. haha i kno this isn't the case cuz if they ruin my birthday i will cry like an infant with collack ;) i have been waiting seventeen years to feel the freedom that little card gives you and if they try to take that away from me i will slash their tires. hehe

FCUK YEAH 2 WEEKS

1 rose crumble to dust and fade away

I love Randi [28 Jan 2004|07:21pm]

[ mood | Eager ]

[ music | Sondre Lerche- i know i know ]

Kudos to Randi and her amazing live journal talent. haha now i am one of the masses with a trendy and hip live journal. I'm so "scene". ;)

I need a job. Proof as follows:

-The last time i got new clothes was christmas
-My mom won't buy me new razor cartridges
-GAS MONEY FOR MY CAR!
-Insurance money
-1.3 thousand dollars left on my Italy Balance ;)
-I have to save my lunch money for the week to buy cigarettes
-my dealer upped his prices (jk JK)

These are just a few of the many factors of unemployment. The thing is i don't want just any job. I want a job that feels just as good as going to hang out with my friends. It seems that there isn't a job out there like that. I don't think so many people would complain about work if work were like hanging out with your friends. I need a job that pays lots of dough to talk to people and be friendly... any one know a job like that?

oh PS--- i get my license in 13 DAYS!

1 rose crumble to dust and fade away

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